Power-LESS

            I can’t help to think of the recent movie The Fault in Our Stars as I sit down to write this week’s lesson. The main character Hazel Grace is dying of cancer as she meets a guy named Gus in the same support group. As the camera views around the circle you see the kids that buy into the whole ‘support’ thing while others show that their parents made them come. Gus had bumped into Hazel giving away the hint that he would make sure he got a date with the beauty that caught his eye despite the cancer. And once the meeting let out he made the move but with a wrong first impression. He reached for a cigarette acting as if he was about to smoke it next to a girl that carries around an oxygen tank because of her cancer. She had proceeded to flip out and say how he was doing so good and he ruined his chances with her before he could explain himself. He had never even lit the thing that could slowly kill him. He had told her that he has the most dangerous thing he could have in his mouth but how he never gave it the power to kill him. 

            I have heard on so many occasions that we can’t really stop some things from happening to us. Now things like age or work are things that are inevitable unless you are swimming in money and are a vampire. I would have to say the one thing that got to me the most while in school was people saying that when you are in the moment with a guy you just want to give into it so badly despite your morals. I realize the temptations here but I also realized the lack of strength. Of course we all fall short and can’t keep it together 24/7…but what if we did? I don’t think we would be perfect. Because things are meant to be messy and confusing but only if you put up a fight.

            We can surround ourselves with powerful things all of our lives and then we wonder when things get out of our hands. There have often been times where I set up so many things and people around me with enough power to bury me. It seems almost impossible to set things up in your life to last with power without it coming back to haunt you. This my friends is the result of power being given its power. Sounds dumb right? Giving power its own power to rule our lives sounds like a completing statement. But going back to Gus and the cigarette. We are called to bring big and heavy things in our lives such as a dream or a relationship. But there are things in our lives that when they are given power they will leave a trail of destruction. And when most people see this possibility they run for the hills because of that chance. If we don’t have things that have unbelievable possibilities we don’t set ourselves up for something amazing to happen.

            This might seem all jumbled and confusing or even pointless. But think back to Gus with the unlit cigarette in his mouth. He felt as if he had the authority. Something that could kill him could not kill him because he did not give it the power or the chance to fulfill that. I am not saying in any way to push God aside and become your own authority. He calls us to follow His every word and actions but He also calls us to take action. God is not physically here to make a step for us. He is not physically here to push that metaphorical cigarette out of our mist. We have to stand up and decide what is going to have power in our lives and what is going to remain with less power or none at all. These limits are a must or else we will find ourselves drowning in our own powers.

            Now some of you might be saying “Well what good are these things in our lives if they don’t have their full powers?” That would be like saying what good is God in our lives if we can’t physically interact with Him. These words are beyond the mere idea and logic of having faith. Sometimes the presence of things do better works than their actions.

     "And unto man he said, Behold, the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding." 

                             ~Job 28:28

'Everlasting' After the Excitement

There have been very few times where I skipped to the last page to read the ending of the book. And those very few times I did that, I actually regretted it. I had to then go all the way back to the beginning to push through the novel to see how the events lead up to the ending that I already knew. It is a huge spoiler. Some people like to know the road ahead of a novel or movie then some run to cover their ears when people try to tell them the ending to a movie they have already seen. But isn’t knowing more information a good thing? It is helpful to know what is to come and to be able to prepare for it. What if there is to be no preparation time?

Growing up I had the mind of a typical little girl. I had the most ridiculous and awesome princess hat. It was one of those tall pointy ones that looked like a huge snow cone that medieval princesses would wear. I loved that thing because well it was pink and sparkly plus it had ribbons and a sheer train coming out of the top. Thinking of it now, I kind of wished I still had that cause well…who doesn’t want to feel like a princess!!?? I would wear that thing around with fake high heels to make me feel like I was on top of the world as a princess. Just thinking that I could one day be a princess gave me the sense that I would fulfill the feeling of “having it all”. Then I got older and realized that even princesses see that life past the crown may not be all it says it is.

Clearly being a princess isn’t quite the fad nowadays but being a singer or actor may be. I also had an awesome karaoke machine that I would absolutely love to sing into. And I really have loved to sing all of my life because it makes me feel as if I have something I can use to go beyond myself. I always thought as a child that I would be able to be able to stand up on stage and get the things I wanted. To be famous would be the best thing in the world and I could work with Ariel and the creators of the Disney movies. Man that was the dream… and then the reality of life later one. These things would still be awesome dreams come true as a young adult but a lot less harder because I have the aspect of reality starring me in the face. The time and effort to learn musical instruments to go into the Christian music industry is taxing and quite frankly, a slap in the face. It will still remain a dream of mine and hopefully it comes true in the very near future but as I look back on not only my childhood but my life as it grows is that I put a lot of focus on one thing.

             I always thought that there were so many things that I could experience and I have so little time to do so. Trying to make all my dreams come true at once has caused me to skimp out on my aspirations. But then I considered something I never stopped to think about. If I spend all of my time with a narrow view towards things I want for this life and actually achieve them I will have an awesome amount of excitement. The willingness and ability of what I have achieved will be such a relief to have. It would be kind of life Christmas though. Months of celebration and season greetings lead up to it and Christmas day is just awesome. You get to celebrate the day of your savior as well as spending time with family and festivities all day. That night settles down and the next day comes as a huge depressor. Sure you have your gifts to play with or the vacation to look forward to but the hype is gone. You saw the amount of fulfillment there was and pushed towards it then there was nothing but reality on the other side.

            I found myself not only doing this as a child but now, every single day. I set awesome road marks in my life and of course I hope to fulfill them but I find myself consuming myself with just that. Looking forward to those things are not a bad thing in anyway but I found that I had not created mountains for my present day. Waiting to live is probably one of the worst things we could do. And the second worst thing we could do is build it up so much that none of the effects extend beyond its arrival. Christ calls us to find joy after the excitement. For if we create milestones to just be reached and then passed then what good have they done to our lives? Why look forward to something so much to only watch it pass without leaving any evidence that it impacted your life?

            I challenge you to go out a make two sided mountains for yourself. One that looks beautiful as you approach it. That has an awesome journey reaching it and an impact while climbing it. With so much excitement and things to look forward to but also one you can outstretch your arms at the top. That will be exciting and unknowing to climb down the back and experience the same thing all over again within the 

excitement of your life.

The God-Given Task

^“What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end (What a beautiful mystery!). I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil—this is God's gift to man. I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away.”

~Ecclesiastes 3:9-15~

Those Around

Whenever we think of being an influence on others we think about positive things. I mean is it not a good thing for your ideas and values to be continued through someone else’s life? Being able to convince someone on your side of the story so much that they want it as their own may be the most powerful tool we can get our hands on. People say that we often do not realize the impact that we have on others. This is where the fine line between model behavior and being full of ourselves tends to disappear.

    The one thing we might not even think about is that in order to be a model to others you must first be a confident one to yourself. If do not see ourselves as leaders then what leaders do you think we come off as to those following us? People will still follow us even though we might not be the best example out there and this may be the scariest thing. Not knowing that people closest to you are looking at what you are setting forth as an example while you look back to say “What did they pick up?”

    I explained my weird stage of life in last week’s lesson which sets the stage for this story. I have had several people come to me and tell how much I impact them and others through Christ. A part of me is happy and overwhelmed to hear this but yet I feel a sense of guilt. I don’t get angry with people for telling me this but I feel ashamed because my relationship with Christ and my effort towards it has been anything but perfect. For the longest time I thought that people looked at me and thought that I have it altogether because I write my own Christian blog. I am sure they don’t think I am perfect but it is the matter that people out there read my blog or watch me from the outside. The weird thing is I want a huge amount of followers as I go into the world of management through ministry but I seek that I follow the right path of which others will be led down.

    The things we do in our lives daily define who we want to be. We can pray and pray but the actions we take is going to be by how fast our legs move. Of course Christ allows that to happen but Christ says that He will protect us but He isn't going to stop us from doing something we already know is against His words. This becomes a trap when we can’t realize that there are others following us in the path of life. It is so easy to get lost on a daily task let alone remembering to look behind or beside us to know there are others around us.

“I have always tried my best to let wisdom guide my thoughts and actions. I said to myself, “I am determined to be wise.” But it didn't work. Wisdom is always distant and difficult to find. I searched everywhere, determined to find wisdom and to understand the reason for things. I was determined to prove to myself that wickedness is stupid and that foolishness is madness.”~Ecclesiastes 7:23-25

    Most of our lives we are told that wisdom grows with age and that we truly can’t a life altering impact until we have a few years under our belt. I think that is the problem with most teens stepping out to make a difference and the sad case is for most adults. We often think that we find wisdom in our experiences we have been in or the rough times we can say that we are a survivor. Although these stories are powerful the most impact is going to come from the things learned and adapted through Christ. We can learn so many things from the early times of how Christ led His followers. His example will allow us to be the ultimate example for others. It is a fact that others will look up to us and follow what we do but we will also do the same. This is the time where we have to step back and ask ourselves, is what I am doing a good thing for others to adopt? And are those I am following doing things that I should be adopting?

“Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things.”  

~Romans 2:1

Stuck

    For the past few months. Actually for a really long time I feel as if I have been stuck in my faith. Where I am not growing significantly and I just feel as if nothing really makes sense. At some point I told myself that it was all after I got baptized that the devil was just tugging that much more at my heart. While that might be the case, I feel as if there is so much more to it. I realize that I am going through such a weird stage in my life. Not only am I saying goodbye to my high school and the rest of my grade school career but everything I have ever known. Graduating is one of those steps like getting a new job or marriage or starting a family. There is just something about that next step forward that is so mysterious and unknowing. We have all been through the matter that God will let things happen as He sees fit and He allows things to fall into place when He recognizes the time. But what happens when we can't accept that? Are we rejects? Wow, does that mean that this faith I have isn't all that strong? Is it even real?

    These few months have been stepping stones that have led virtually nowhere for me. And as I talk to those around me going through the same process of leaving this stage of life I learned that they feel it too. That nothing seems certain anymore and we all realized that our faith is rather...transparent and fading quickly. I had scared myself in the past few months about what I truly wanted and what I really felt in my heart. And man can I tell you what it felt like to have the floor beneath you disappear. It feels as if I have been dropped in a desert blindfolded with no direction.

    By this time most of your are probably saying "Well, I know where this is going. She is going to tell us how she is going through a tribulation and how she sees God's light at the end." I wish I could sit here and write this blog out like all my other weird and quite times but I can't. That has to be one of the scariest parts about this, is knowing that I can't see how it ends. The road ahead of me is totally blank. The steps I take are up to me. The relationships I engage in is all up to me. The path I choose to carve...is ALL up to me. But isn't the load and burdens of this world to be shared with the Lord for He gives us rest? I would like to believe that this is going to happen and to some extent I do. I just have a constant questioning going on in my head and a sick feeling in my stomach of unknown waters ahead of me.

    You know that desert I mentioned earlier, well this is it. When I think about moving on to not having the same thing set before me everyday THIS is what I see. Just a blank area that I will most likely get utterly lost in. But there is something about this picture that gives off a hope. The beautiful mountains in the back show me the true glory of God and his grace of how he can take such a mess like myself to turn it into something beautiful. I thought that everything ahead of me is going to be completely blank, well it is actually...to me. As crazy as it sounds, God looks down on me right now and realizes my struggles eating me inside out. But He doesn't get a bit worried because he knows that it is working out for His glory. And what makes Christ happy should make me happy right? I know it does but I can't put that into words because my understanding of Christ is so unknown and crazy weird but in a good way. I am so twisted by the idea of how awesome He is.

    Another thing that I seemed to not realize before was that it isn't just an empty scene. There is so much life when you look up close. The sky looks breath taking and the land is so open that adventure is right at your will. The shrubs and branches seem as if they are dead or withering away but they still stand don't they? There is something about this picture that tells me a blank canvas is what I need to see. It is actually something we all need to see. Sometimes knowing what is ahead is worse than creating your own path. Knowing that the road ahead is empty and uncharted is a future with more plans than I have ever had. My faith survives in this storm it will continue to crawl when it has no balance like now. Somehow I will walk out of the darkness because light cannot be defeated by the dark. I am the tiniest light compared to the world and all of God's wonders but yet I am the biggest. Put me in a cave of sin or a storm of trials and I will find my way out by the light.

    Knowing that this is going to happen and I will suffer a lot but I will get through it. The relief and air at the end is something beyond words that I will not be able to describe with mere words. Even though I feel as if my life right now is barren and stripped of its ideas as well as any sense of direction. I have no clue where I am going but it is the point that I know that I am going somewhere. I realize that I need to connect to Christ more and pray more but that is not it. I need to realize and understand what He is truly thinking in this silence. I may have just made a huge contradiction but God is going a million miles per hour while I am at a stand still. But the awesome thing to notice is He is gonna stop along the way and clue me in on what is to come. Something even better, He will not stop His love of eternity in all of that.

    Sometimes it is good to be stuck because you will be found that much more all over again. And I pray everyday that the Lord himself finds me where I lie.

You call me out upon the waters

The great unknown, where feet may fail

And there I find You in the mystery

In oceans deep, my faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours, and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sovereign hand will be my guide

Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me

You've never failed, and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours, and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior 

I will call upon Your name

Keep my eyes above the waves

My soul will rest in Your embrace

I am Yours, and You are mine

I am Yours, and You are mine

I am Yours, and You are mine

I am Yours, and You are mine

Hillsong United - Oceans (Where Feet May Fail) Lyrics | MetroLyrics