Steps to Healing

Often times when we have been hurt physically or mentally, we don't always recover. We often focus to much on the problem and not enough time on the solution. This is because it's easier to dwell in what has hurt us rather than to go against the norm in order to fix it. The process of healing isn't complex but the way you use it is complexly fit to you.

Step 1:
*Identify the conflict by making sure you know who is really involved in the situation. When we blame others for false accusations we the conflict gets bigger than it ever was. We also need to be so slow to anger when it comes to the blame game. This is the first and very important step because it sets the stage for the whole duration of the healing.

Step 2:
*Address each person involved in the conflict. Now this is easier said then done most times because everyone is testy when it comes to saying who did what. But I can guarantee you that setting everyone's feelings straight is a very important detail thay can't be forgotten. Some people might not engage in relationships once they have ended abruptly. Sometimes this step can happen throughout the whole healing process because people deal with things at different times.

Step 3:
*This is where the healing really begins because this is where the letting go process begins. It may sound weird but I think that when people disagree on something or having a huge falling out, stepping back from each other is a hard but healthy thing to do. Im not saying in any way to forget those who you are fighting with but on order for people to settle down over a dispute they need to decide beyond each other. In any relationship, a little bit of air is never a bad thing. Now this is not for everyone, sometimes we need each other even through we can't stand each other to push through it together.

Step 4:
*In every healing process there is always a time for looking up. Once everything is set straight in your mind plus in the other minds involved. You can't dwell on the past because it can't be relived. I know that sounds like a cheesy fortune cookie but it's the straight truth. We tend to live in the past trying to fix what we love so much while our present life keeps moving on so we miss it all. We are told to do our very best through Christ not to go back and make sure it is sin free. Healing is not an easy process but of course it is worth it. And it doesn't happen over night. But God calls us to this so we should take the liberty to allow ourselves to get back to what we were made for.

Verse of the Day: "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
~Psalms 147:3

Define Relations

      All our life we are told that we are never alone. That we have that one special someone out there that was meant for us. That beyond all the cheating and lies of petty relationships, we are told to push through all of that for a perfect relationship with someone in the. That the pain is worth it. Well yeah it's not easy going through life and trying to find the right person for you to spend the rest of your life with.

Did you realize that...

1. Couples usually wait until six to eight dates before they are willing to enter into an exclusive relationship
2. The most common time for breakups is around three to five months
3. One in three teenagers have experienced violence in a dating relationship
4. In a survey conducted by MSNBC.com and Elle magazine, more than 31% of men said they dumped an overweight partner compared to 12% of women
5. On average, it takes between 12 to 14 dates before couples will trade house keys
6. The online dating industry generates $1.8 billion per year and the matchmaker/dating coach business generates $260 million per year in the United States
7. Psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania studied data from over 10,000 speed daters and found that most people make a decision regarding a person’s attraction within three seconds of meeting
8. 46% of all high school students have not had sexual intercourse.
9. Immediately after Tiger Wood’s affairs became public, men looking for discreet relationships dropped by 47.5%
10. In America, there is one divorce every 13 seconds. That’s 6,646 divorces per day, and 46,523 divorce per week

(Sources: Relationships Matter, Random History, McKinley Irvin)

          These shockingly true statistics of relationships across the board are multiplying as we speak. Having a relationship with someone else is hard work and time consuming. Of course it is a lot of other things but that's not the main point here so we will come back to the statistics in a bit.

           So remembering back to how we are all told that God pretty much has our backs with the whole relationship thing but until then we can do whatever we want when it comes to dating. That we should take all and any chance of being with someone just so we aren't alone. I know me as a younger teen your probably thinking that this is very naive...but just hear me out, because I can guarantee that once were done here all of this information will relate to every single age group. So, now take the relationships part out of your life onto the evaluation table. Looking back, do you see a pattern? Maybe you gave too much to a relationship that you regretted. Or maybe you held back on saying your true feelings costing you the relationship. You might look back and be overwhelmed by fear because of the people you got involved with causing you to call them a mistake in your life. Above all of your reflections you need to tell yourself that every relationship happens for a reason. Believe it or not, every single relationship (friend or otherwise) is a set marker in our path that God specifically made for us.

            Relationships are NOT what define you...you take the relationships and define it by applying it to your life. I have seen so many people get hooked and then later crushed through unsuccessful relationships in both friendships and relations. The thought that all relationships pretty much just stink and you should never get involve with people either way, might cross your mind as you read this. But think above that....really think of why we are even given the chance to have relationships with other people. This is where every one's answers will differ because some of you might think that relationships are all about feeling or purpose or love or pride and anything that speaks to you. So this is why we need to set the background needs for relationships straight. We can't roll out of bed every single morning and think to ourselves as we go to school or work or our daily task to just consume our minds with that one person we want to have as our own. To any body else outside this conversation, they would say anyone constantly thinking about relations with another is a creep that just should talk to the person. Well we can become a "creep" but the true word for it is bad investment. Think of it this way...if you constantly think of something, it can be anything here, and that fact of consummation is starting to affect your life that it makes you change. Change can be seen in the dark as well as in the light but any change that affects your true being without being aware of it is normally a result of obsession. Consuming your thoughts or actions with that certain someone takes our self away bit by bit. Stating it all like this makes relationships sound cannibalistic but the harsh truth is...we do release that "beastly" side of ourselves.

       If you had a say in how you change for the better or for the worse would you step in to alter the outcome? Of course everyone would want to dictate when change occurs in their heart and mind. Well the hidden secret here is that.....you can and should in a relationship. Don't consume your mind with thoughts about other self attractions because you sell yourself short. We need to stop living for the thought and feelings that radiate off of others and we need to stand up tall while we live our lives that God set for us. When we become so incredibly close...especially when were young and in love, we sell God short because try to merge our path with another person's path. Your probably thinking...jeez Kaitlyn why are you being so heavy about this stuff it's no big deal? Your right, it doesn't seem like a big deal BUT this is a huge problem across the board. I'm sure you have heard the typical statistics that most couples wait about 8 dates until they start dating to then later sleep together shortly followed by the exchange of keys. To anyone, these stats are not a big deal....in matter of fact this is just life as we know it. But everything about these actions go against every word of one in a relationship with Christ. It's just so flabbergasting to hear that one divorce happens every 13 seconds in the United States. Can one even fathom the amount of passion, hope, trust, hard work, and connection is just thrown away every 13 seconds!

      Okay, take a mental breath because just typing all this relationship and feelings stuff can just pick at you. The point to keep hanging in your mind is that relationships are a beautiful thing that the Lord himself created but we CANNOT consume ourselves with those who we believe are our soul mates because that sets us up for disappointment. Instead pick up your shoulders and walk down your set path with confidence that God will bring you to the point in the road where you are to meet your husband or wife. Don't rush it or let it consume you or you will end up in that 6,646 group of daily divorces. Don't follow the current of the world's view of dating and what others expect you to do. Overall you need to be able to not only happy but living your life with a path closer to yours.


Word of the Day: "By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers."
                                   ~1 John 3:16
      

Mothers

         Mothers are among the people we love the most if not the most. Not matter how close we are to our fathers or brothers or sisters or even friends. We all have a special connection to our mother's. I mean we were developed in our moms for 9 months so I'd say we have a rather special bond with them. Now mother's day might be a good thing or a bad thing for people because deaths or bad relationships might ruin this for some people. But mother's day becomes something that allows us to remember our moms and honor them. Like I said...it might be hard for some of us to be happy on this day but the Lord calls us to do just that. From the beginning of time the Lord himself set our mother's as the ones who are mother of all the living. Eve was just that....she was set to be the mother of all living and I'd say that sets a pretty big responsibility on women. Besides the typical view of what women are to do, such as cooking and cleaning while caring for the kids, women are to keep the household mentally sound and stable. Women are naturally the more emotional since the beginning of creation.

     The importance of women is so diverse all over the world. In the Middle East women are to covered up as a sign of respect around all ages of men. Verses here in the United States women virtually do whatever they want physically and emotionally to others. This view of women through other people's eyes around the world hinders a level of respect but I feel like the ideal of motherhood never changes. The point of this lesson isn't to tell you how amazing your mother is, even though that's something we should all be reminded of, but I think we need to see how God views the importance if women. In Leviticus 19:3 God calls us to revere to our parents and his own Sabbath's. Now all parents are gonna read this and think it's about time children appreciate them. Children should do this but when it's hard for them to connect to their mother or father they need to be reminded of Gods words. He wants us to take the heed of our parents because it benefits us. Our mothers were set to be in our lives for reason. God knew these women in each one of our lives would test us, make us angry, excite us, love us, and all of the above. But all these pros and cons make a beautiful recipe for a dynasty of God's children.

     We said how we should love our mother's because they basically brought us into this world. But they gave us so much more....actually God did through them. We are a called blessing through Christ that can into the world through our chosen mother's. God can make even the most barren women an oracle for joyous praise for the Lord by giving her children. Children are as fit to their mothers as the mothers are to their children. I think that it is just so amazing how God made us to fit to close to the hearts of our mothers. When you ask what most people remember about their mother's through their childhood its either the way they rocked them to sleep or the certain way they would make their breakfast in the morning. Mothers are made in the resemblance of the Lord to physically love us the way the Lord himself loves us everyday.

 

 

 

Word of the Day: "And I will give them one heart, and I will put a new spirit within you; and I will take the stony heart out of their flesh, and will give them a heart of flesh."

                                                                   ~Ezekiel 11:19

Full of Frustration

        We have our days. I like to think that we wake up with the hopes of having a great day even if we have undesirable events ahead of us. Or we can also tend to have the mind of a glass half empty feeling by know that well...the day is just going to stink all around. There are just times that we really can't control what happens to us as we go throughout our day and ultimately our lives.
        So today was my misfortune day. It was missions Sunday at my church, it was basically just a day for the church family to pull together and see what the missions team is going to this summer plus there were chances to be involved with the whole process. Well I was the person that woke up with a half full glass of ice cold milk. I was to speak and set up my video for the missions team as part of being a team member. First off I feel asleep before my alarm clock was set so I had to get ready in about half of my desired time. Once at the church I was getting my video ready and didn't see many more members around. But little did I know they were having a rough morning as well. Everyone around me today seemed to have the devil just standing right on their shoulder making us wonder if this was all worth it. Well it didn't knock any of us down, the good Lord got his job done well today. To top of the days misfortune of events, my shattered phone needed to be replaced and I'm sure you all know how much havoc it is to work with phone companies. Lets just say that I didn't get my replacement phone.
        The purpose of this isn't to share all my stress from today it is for me to show you the one thing that came to my mind through all of this. When I was coming home from the phone store I was just ticked because the whole situation wasn't solved. I started to realize that, isn't it sad that we have been trained to want things as soon as there needed? Our world has gone from the stone ages to the ages of iPhone 5's and self parking cars. Our world has run rampant for new and inventive thing, while personality and the true meaning of life just gets trampled on. When I found myself just mad at the world over a stupid phone, I asked myself do I really NEED this Godly possession as much as I think I do? Obviously as a teenage American I won't go without a cellphone...I will eventually get a phone (lets hope so). But the point is that I realized that I need to create tolerance for myself when things don't go my way. Sometimes our own world can work against us and we tend to separate our being. We take our world and plot it against our religion. My advice for this little child fit we all through is to just step back and really look at how your reacting to the situation.
        
                                                             1 Corinthians 13:1-13
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; ...
        Whenever you are just having a bad day think of yourself as a spoiled little brat. I know it sounds really dumb. But when you see yourself on such a horrible light it forces us to come back to reality. There isn't much more to say about this because its a short lesson that needs to be heard. When we get frustrated and just feel like starting over step back and do just that.


Word of the day:  "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit."
                                                   Psalm 34:18


"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
                                         Philippians 4:7

"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
                                                                Isaiah 41:10