Define Relations

      All our life we are told that we are never alone. That we have that one special someone out there that was meant for us. That beyond all the cheating and lies of petty relationships, we are told to push through all of that for a perfect relationship with someone in the. That the pain is worth it. Well yeah it's not easy going through life and trying to find the right person for you to spend the rest of your life with.

Did you realize that...

1. Couples usually wait until six to eight dates before they are willing to enter into an exclusive relationship
2. The most common time for breakups is around three to five months
3. One in three teenagers have experienced violence in a dating relationship
4. In a survey conducted by MSNBC.com and Elle magazine, more than 31% of men said they dumped an overweight partner compared to 12% of women
5. On average, it takes between 12 to 14 dates before couples will trade house keys
6. The online dating industry generates $1.8 billion per year and the matchmaker/dating coach business generates $260 million per year in the United States
7. Psychologists at the University of Pennsylvania studied data from over 10,000 speed daters and found that most people make a decision regarding a person’s attraction within three seconds of meeting
8. 46% of all high school students have not had sexual intercourse.
9. Immediately after Tiger Wood’s affairs became public, men looking for discreet relationships dropped by 47.5%
10. In America, there is one divorce every 13 seconds. That’s 6,646 divorces per day, and 46,523 divorce per week

(Sources: Relationships Matter, Random History, McKinley Irvin)

          These shockingly true statistics of relationships across the board are multiplying as we speak. Having a relationship with someone else is hard work and time consuming. Of course it is a lot of other things but that's not the main point here so we will come back to the statistics in a bit.

           So remembering back to how we are all told that God pretty much has our backs with the whole relationship thing but until then we can do whatever we want when it comes to dating. That we should take all and any chance of being with someone just so we aren't alone. I know me as a younger teen your probably thinking that this is very naive...but just hear me out, because I can guarantee that once were done here all of this information will relate to every single age group. So, now take the relationships part out of your life onto the evaluation table. Looking back, do you see a pattern? Maybe you gave too much to a relationship that you regretted. Or maybe you held back on saying your true feelings costing you the relationship. You might look back and be overwhelmed by fear because of the people you got involved with causing you to call them a mistake in your life. Above all of your reflections you need to tell yourself that every relationship happens for a reason. Believe it or not, every single relationship (friend or otherwise) is a set marker in our path that God specifically made for us.

            Relationships are NOT what define you...you take the relationships and define it by applying it to your life. I have seen so many people get hooked and then later crushed through unsuccessful relationships in both friendships and relations. The thought that all relationships pretty much just stink and you should never get involve with people either way, might cross your mind as you read this. But think above that....really think of why we are even given the chance to have relationships with other people. This is where every one's answers will differ because some of you might think that relationships are all about feeling or purpose or love or pride and anything that speaks to you. So this is why we need to set the background needs for relationships straight. We can't roll out of bed every single morning and think to ourselves as we go to school or work or our daily task to just consume our minds with that one person we want to have as our own. To any body else outside this conversation, they would say anyone constantly thinking about relations with another is a creep that just should talk to the person. Well we can become a "creep" but the true word for it is bad investment. Think of it this way...if you constantly think of something, it can be anything here, and that fact of consummation is starting to affect your life that it makes you change. Change can be seen in the dark as well as in the light but any change that affects your true being without being aware of it is normally a result of obsession. Consuming your thoughts or actions with that certain someone takes our self away bit by bit. Stating it all like this makes relationships sound cannibalistic but the harsh truth is...we do release that "beastly" side of ourselves.

       If you had a say in how you change for the better or for the worse would you step in to alter the outcome? Of course everyone would want to dictate when change occurs in their heart and mind. Well the hidden secret here is that.....you can and should in a relationship. Don't consume your mind with thoughts about other self attractions because you sell yourself short. We need to stop living for the thought and feelings that radiate off of others and we need to stand up tall while we live our lives that God set for us. When we become so incredibly close...especially when were young and in love, we sell God short because try to merge our path with another person's path. Your probably thinking...jeez Kaitlyn why are you being so heavy about this stuff it's no big deal? Your right, it doesn't seem like a big deal BUT this is a huge problem across the board. I'm sure you have heard the typical statistics that most couples wait about 8 dates until they start dating to then later sleep together shortly followed by the exchange of keys. To anyone, these stats are not a big deal....in matter of fact this is just life as we know it. But everything about these actions go against every word of one in a relationship with Christ. It's just so flabbergasting to hear that one divorce happens every 13 seconds in the United States. Can one even fathom the amount of passion, hope, trust, hard work, and connection is just thrown away every 13 seconds!

      Okay, take a mental breath because just typing all this relationship and feelings stuff can just pick at you. The point to keep hanging in your mind is that relationships are a beautiful thing that the Lord himself created but we CANNOT consume ourselves with those who we believe are our soul mates because that sets us up for disappointment. Instead pick up your shoulders and walk down your set path with confidence that God will bring you to the point in the road where you are to meet your husband or wife. Don't rush it or let it consume you or you will end up in that 6,646 group of daily divorces. Don't follow the current of the world's view of dating and what others expect you to do. Overall you need to be able to not only happy but living your life with a path closer to yours.


Word of the Day: "By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers."
                                   ~1 John 3:16