I realized that I used the word encounter. So let me explain myself and how encounter comes into it. This past weekend I spent the most amazing time at my church retreat. Now I have been on plenty retreats but this one...this one is the best one I have EVER been on. I would of never guessed that a place less than an hour from my home was the one place where I felt that I belonged. Now I don't have times where I am the outcast but you knows those times as a teenager there is always those confusing times for direction. Being at River Valley Ranch I had a spike to my relationship with Christ.
There are plenty of times where I just hit rock bottom. When I brush over everyday things and the quite times slip right through my hands. I can honestly say that is the one thing I hate most. When I know for a fact that my life and relationship with Christ is slowly dying right before my eyes because of this world...and most importantly, myself. It is so easy to have the first initial belief in Christ to then get comfortable.This links back to the writers block. I feel like I can only write about so much and elaborate so much about Christ until the point where I am stuck at a road that has no direction. It is such a horrible place to be...to just wake up everyday having the Lord on your mind then the world drowns him out as the day goes on. He is the center of my thoughts and he is always there as I do good or bad. He is my strength and I am the weakness but he will always restore me. No matter how weak I become in my faith I always can make that turn around but it is NOT a relationship that I can just take from.
At the ranch I was able to reach new heights that I have never seen before. Being in the DR I experienced some crazy awesome things through Christ that got me where I am today. And I don't want to believe that I need out of this world things to keep my faith alive. But I do need to be on fire for Christ. When I arrived at RVR I was a little hesitant because I was coming with just the general group. I had friends in the group and awesome people to hang with but my friends that I usually hang with on the retreats and church activities all did the school musical. I had done the musical the year before and planned to do it this year as well but when I found out that it was the same weekend at the retreat...I thought about which one to choose and I chose Christ.
From band to cheer to school events...I tend to dwell in things of this world. God is definitely in the things I do but for once choosing the RVR weekend retreat was the one thing Christ had in my book. It is honestly scary to think that if I did do musical I would not be overflowing with God's love. I can never rap my mind around the reasons why He leads me to the places he does. But when I learn the key idea of the thing to be taken away I just get a rush of tears. I knew that I would truly be able to live out my worship for Christ as I entered to have the room just as loud as can be with the staff having there arms out wide with a high five tunnel. It was that time that I stepped into that building that I forgot everything. I realized that my head aches simmered during the weekend and I had not one thought of school. And I did not regret not doing musical with all my other friends.
Man God is awesome! I love getting that smile on your face that takes its place without your control! It is those feelings that I find myself in my faith outside of what I am to be according to this world. I saw different views of my mind and new inclinations of what my future holds. I'm not gonna lie...I left there wanting to quit both my jobs to work there full time. For once in my life God is calling me to not pick what I want but what I need. And a place like RVR gave my heart the life that it needed. HE IS GOOD!!! I got back into quite times and I pray a thousand times that I do not drop it. I know my life and the way it works but I also know that my relationship with God was on a downhill spiral.
I ask for prayers in my decisions if I should drop all things this summer to pursue this desire of mine. I could not see me in a place that could get any better than this! Christ is more than everything and He is alive in me there. I don't want to look at it as a place where I can hide from reality all summer to see the ideas Christ has given me, come to life. They are my dreams but I am confident that Christ gave them to me to create a huge banner in His name.
The speaker at the ranch was just flat out awesome. He is a high school teacher who teaches about Christ daily and questions teenagers while doing it. He knew my mind but applied to the whole group. It was so deep and flat out refreshing that I found myself becoming exhausted! I praise the Lord for bringing him to all of us and I ask a blessing over him for unending wisdom. All the ideas were nailed into my mind but I could probably not sit here and tell you what he talked about. First off...yes I did pay attention and I loved every minute he declared. His words gave me the comfortable feeling that Christ was there holding his arms around me giving me eternal comfort. He gave me the reassurance that Christ has the plan for my future in his hands and he will not let me down but impress me beyond belief. I feel as if I have so much more to say but the excitement and feeling I have experienced can't be put to words right now. Those words I have heard over the weekend will remain in my heart and mind that I couldn't comprehend right now.
Bottom Line...Christ blew me out of the water this weekend and sparked a different fire in my heart. He is starting to share new sides of myself and go into uncharted lands that I have cried out for for a long time now. My summer let alone my college career is going to be a whole lot better than I thought it would be. But there is going to be a lot of mind changing possibilities and struggles getting to where I want to be this summer. If Christ wants me at the Ranch He WILL make the path so I can follow it...I pray that I know how to find it through my own desires.
Word of the Day: "With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so."
~James 3:9-10
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